Let’s try something new. A little tongue in cheek article. This is never meant to insult anyone, simply to give you a good laugh and maybe a small insight into the types of backpackers you’ll meet in any hostel around the world
It’s not hard to take a look at this list and find yourself as one of these stereotypes. So I ask you, which one are you? Leave a comment at the bottom.
But remember – never stereotype. Unless you’re a blogger – Typical Bloggers…
1. The Drunk one
But seriously, Canadians and Australians, why do you get along so well?
Anyway, these guys should probably be called ‘the ones who like to drink, often’. This guy/girl is always hanging out in the hostel with a beer not doing much. That being said, if they are doing something, it’s with a beer. If they don’t have a beer, they’re going to get more beer (or spirits or wine, pick your poison).
These guys are usually super friendly and want to simply hang out with everyone, never turning down an opportunity to have a few drinks, a big night or a chance to ‘drink you under the table’.
2. The Quiet One
They’re great, they’re quiet, they’re shy and everyone loves them. Maybe they’re onto something because it doesn’t take long for the loud one to walk up and start talking and just like that – they’re part of the gang.
3. The Loud One
Usually wants to be the life of the party and simply makes enough noise to keep everyone up but not enough to justify you getting up and complaining. Another type that’s always up for a party and isn’t afraid to share it. They’re inclusive and friendly and believe me, you’ll know all about it.
4. The Facebook One
The guy or girl who sits on their phone half the time tweeting and instagram-ing their travels so their friends think they’re having a great time – But they’re really just sitting in the hostel.
Yep, I went there.
5. The One in the Relationship
The guy or girl who can’t stop talking about their boyfriend/girlfriend. Constant Skype calls and Facebook messages from that secret someone.
I went there two.
6. The Poor One
This is me.
The guy who’s happy to go out for dinner, but only if it’s the cheapest thing within 10km. Would rather cook a meal to last 3 days and find the cheapest hostels and bars.
7. The Stoner
Standard stoner I guess? Sits around, smokes weed, leave’s the hostel to buy more weed. Tries to order pizza to the hostel in the middle of rural Laos – which is totally a thing, I know right?
8. The ‘I’ve travelled here’ One
This guy/girl can’t help but jump at answering the typical “Where have you come from and where are you going”. Ready to list every country they’ve been to on their travels and even on the trip before this one. If they’re not in a hostel, just crossing the border for an hour to tick that country off their list.
9. The Old One
These guys come in all shapes and sizes. From 50 to 85, these backpackers have never let go of the travel itch. They’ve been all over the world and they’re read to spend their kids inheritance to do it again. Full of wisdom and tattoos, they just want to feel young again.
Just keep an eye out for the seedy one
10. The Hippy
Vegetarian, yoga practicing, humanitarian, hippy pants wearing. – The hippy.
These guys are ready to tell you why purchasing that cheap pair of Nikes from that woman is a bad idea and why riding rhinos in Thailand is unethical (which it is). They won’t eat meat, but they’ll cycle through three pairs of hippy pants made in a sweat shop by an 8-year-old.
11. The Volunteer
The next evolution of The Hippy – The Volunteer. These guys/girls are ready to tell you just what they’re doing to save the world and help kids everywhere. They’ve paid thousands of their hard-earned cash to travel to a third world country and build a wall – poorly.
‘Voluntourism’ is the term given to the sector of tourism where young middle-class people pay lots of money to fly to a country to build a school or feed a baby rhino or give any sort of humanitarian aid – without any training or experience. Sounds logical right?
12. The Runaway
These guys have left home all-together. They’ve run away from their family, their friends and society in general and they’re usually working at the bar in the hostel with little to no money to their name. They have no plans and no intention of going back to ‘the real world’.
Hey, they’re living the dream – right?
13. The Partier
Typically they’re to get drunk and party on beaches, nightclubs and festivals. Different from the drunk one, who has a morsel of self-control and discipline in their art form – these guys just go somewhere and “get f***ed up”.
Usually tattooed and balloon shaped, they don’t have the same culturally sensitive and friendly demeanour of your average backpacker. But hey, as long as they don’t want to fight, go for gold.
14. The Flash-Packer.
A new market is evolving. People with a bit more money than backpackers still want to go backpacking – Flashpacking. They usually found in boutique hostels, exploring all the upmarket bars and restaurants and paying that hefty price for a first class train carriage.
Most of the time they’re ready to turn their noses down at drinking cheap beer from 7/11 and would prefer to look down on the petty tourists from their restaurant view with their cocktails and cultural cuisine. Someone has to tell this one that they can’t wear high heals in the dirt or that their Nikes might get dirty. These guys and girls have a hard time eating local food unless it’s from a restaurant and staying in hostels without air-con.
These guys are great because they let me eat their leftovers.
15. The Gap-Year’er
They’re young, they’re active and they’re always ready to party. I know that when I was 18, I didn’t really care about the politics of Cambodia or the rainforests of Thailand – I just wanted to party. So I don’t blame them.
Usually, they manage to find their way through the backpacker trails of the world without hurting themselves, somehow.
16. The Anti-Social One
They just don’t want to hang out, I don’t know why, but they just don’t. 🙁
17. The Nomad
This guy’s ready to tell you how long he’s travelling for and where he’s going next. It’s been years since (s)he’s been home and they’re always trying to find a new way to stay on the road. Typically can be found working in a hostel or selling pub-crawl tickets, these guys are all over.
Living the dream? Or running away from society? – You decide.
18. The Travel Blogger
Always ready to tell you that they’re a freelance something-or-rather and they’ve got work to do. These guys are trying – and failing – to find a balanced lifestyle of travel and work. Usually indulging in grand ideas of working on the road and running a travel blog, they’ve got a fairytale idea that people will find them interesting enough that they’ll read their blogs. Silly right?
They’re always pulling out their phones or laptops to keep up with their online careers, they’re boring, sometimes anti-social and always bigoted. – 🙂
19. The Veteran
Often in their late 20’s early 30’s, these guys have done everything. From hiking the Grand Canyon to seeing the Northern Lights. They’ve travelled all around the world and have the experience and wisdom to show it – I just wish they’ed shut up about what they did here and why I should go there.
20 The Stud
Tanned, muscles (or curves – ‘the dad bod’) and great ‘sexy eyes’. These guys (or girls) are chatting to that hot European for one reason – to show off how good he (or she) is at cards. – 😉
Be aware, make sure the deck of cards is wrapped though.
21. The Guy with a Guitar
And lastly, the infamous blonde hair and dreamy voice. Everyone’s trying to have a nice conversation and you just happen to be getting somewhere with that hot European when that guy pulls out his guitar and plays a melody.